By Joe Novak
Sitting at my keyboard, staring at the screen, I wonder if I should reflect back at this past year or look into the future wondering what the New Year will bring. Possibly a bit of both since it is all relevant.
Last year was tough because we had to clean out my sister’s condo and the memories of her passing and the great times we had there were often overwhelming. It is a place I will never return to and I will miss it and her immensely.
I am currently packing for my Caribbean cruise and should be back by the time this article prints. I am stoked about this cruise, as I always am, but as I get older, more so, possibly because I never know which will be the last since my health deteriorates with each passing year. My health issues are more annoyances than life threatening; migraines that have escalated in frequency, tinnitus (ringing in the ears) that can sound like a room full of crickets keeping me awake till all hours of the morning. I get an average of 5 hours sleep at night making me tired and lazy, which is frustrating for someone who has always been referred to as “the energizer Bunny” by friends and family.
I am being positive about my health since I have scheduled several upcoming doctor visits. I just wish they weren’t “practicing” medicine but had it down to a solid science. I guess I could seek out a witch doctor on some Caribbean island in hope of casting a spell and curing my ills.
My “Catholic Guilt” tells me its penance for my fascination with pretty women but I have never strayed; my wife adds. “He is like a dog chasing a car, but at his age wouldn’t know what to do with it if he caught it!”
I am looking forward to all the adventures and trouble I will be getting into this new year. We will possibly take another trip to my beloved Slovenia in the fall.
My wife worries about traveling and how she would get my body home should I expire while on a cruise. “Look at the bright side,” I tell her. “Burial at sea should be a lot cheaper and quicker.” She only needs to get my corpse over the railing at 2 a.m. I will leave a suicide note as cover and she can claim my act as disappointment in the ship’s entertainment, which should be worth a few sympathy bucks.
If there are any Amish remedies for migraines, tinnitus or sleep disorders, please pass them along or my middle of the night articles may get a bit strange (stranger?). I want to wish all my readers (both of them) a very happy and prosperous New Year!
Joe Joke: On our last cruise, I asked a woman sitting next to me in the hot tub why she was staring at the guy in the speedos? “Speedos are like car accidents,” she said.
“You can’t look away no matter how bad it is!”